at a bar really close to my house:
man: "if it wasn't for "the smiths", i would have never gotten laid!"

i was driving down market street and stopped at a light next to a street car stop...it was late...
bummy woman (approached my open passenger side window): "can i drive?"
me: "no, sugar sorry"
bummy woman: "the eagle wants to drive...he's a good driver!"
there was no-one else around
the light turned green and i drove away

girl on bus:
"he was so stupid..i mean he didn't even know that pete townsend was one of the beatles!"

"i'm done with those italian girls!"
"yep, me too!"
"what a waste of time!"